Kenya is a divided country in many ways, but if you want to unite most men, bring up the topic of sex, especially women’s sexual behaviour. There are men who think that women were created to be their slaves; to have sex with them whenever they want and to demand their complete obedience and silence. They glorify sleeping with many women, but then turn around to criticize women for their sexual choices. What is lost on these men is that the so-called promiscuous women don’t sleep with themselves, but with men. It takes two to tango, but when there is a sex scandal, it’s the women who are attacked and shamed.
Interestingly, we give men who cheat, rape and physically assault women the benefit of doubt, while shaming the women who dare to speak up. They’re blamed, or told, they must have done something wrong. Women are raped, touched inappropriately, but because we love shaming victims, many suffer in silence.
Prostitution is illegal in Kenya, with thousands of women involved in this trade. They’re raped, abused and even, sometimes, killed by their male clients, but I am yet to find stories, or pictures, of men who were arrested for ‘buying’ sex. It’s only the sex workers who are arraigned in court. This discrimination has only emboldened perverts and paedophiles. Women are groped inside buses, we stay quiet. Women are cat-called in the streets, we stay quiet. Women are shamed and called whores for leaving abusive marriages. Our daughters are raped in the bushes and we tell them to be silent because it will bring shame to the family. A 16-year-old girl is raped and the police punish the men by telling them to slash grass. It took public uproar and women marching in the streets, for stripping of women, because of how they dressed, to stop. Some men can’t stand women who are strong and independent. To deal with that insecurity, we ask them why they’re behaving like men.
Young people, but especially women, are having sex with older men and women, commonly referred to as sponsors. My personal values and faith don’t support this, but my Saviour says I shouldn’t judge them. Actually, the Bible commands that I should love them. Before God, our sins are equal but in Kenya, women’s sins are an abomination to men. Kenya isn’t broke, or corrupt, because of women’s sexual choices; it is corrupt because we elect thieves. A leader must be morally upright, but their immorality is not criminal if it doesn’t affect the work they’re doing. What is criminal, is that there is evidence the governor was directly involved in the death of a young woman, but our spineless police officers will go after his personal assistant and leave alone the only man with a real motive. If you think women are whores, or they should be treated like children, pause and see where you have placed your mother.
Women are offered jobs for sex, exchange sex for grades, or some form of economic benefit, and even have sex forced upon them because of some outdated cultural beliefs and customs. Interestingly, we give men who cheat, rape and physically assault women the benefit of doubt, while shaming the women who dare to speak up. They’re blamed, or told, they must have done something wrong. Women are raped, touched inappropriately, but because we love shaming victims, many suffer in silence.
We need to make Kenya safe for women. We must make them feel that they can trust men; that we can defend their honour and respect their sexual choices. As long as sex is consensual, we should respect women’s choice.
#LETS BE HUMAN. THINK BETWEEN THE LINES, WHETHER MALE OR FEMALE#
If you think women are whores, or they should be treated like children, pause and see where you have placed your mother.
When Love Goes Sour, Don’t Kill, Simply Walk Away