Is your relationship suffering from financial infidelity?


Financial infidelity is spending of money without the knowledge of your partner. This includes opening bank accounts that are unknown to your partner, borrowing money or incurring secret debts. This state of affairs strains relationships resulting to loss of intimacy and trust.

If money is not a topic that you find easy to talk about openly, then you may need to consider how you can begin to engage.

Money is one of the primary areas of conflict in marriage and several research studies indicate that financial infidelity is common. Once financial infidelity is discovered the deceived partner will be hurt and might experience a sense of betrayal. A recent survey indicated that the prevalence of financial infidelity is much higher than sexual infidelity. The offended partner deals with a lot of emotions ranging from anger, rage, mistrust, confusion, disbelief and fear.
A relationship that has been built over many years can be completely destroyed by one case of financial infidelity.

Red Flags to watch out for include:

  • Partner’s unwillingness to discuss finances
  • Lying about income and expenditure
  • Lying about purchases
  • Withdrawing money from joint accounts without any notification
  • Having secret bank accounts, investment groups or hidden credit cards
  • A partner controlling the finances with no input.

How to handle financial Infidelity

  • Have a discussion on money in the onset of the relationship; understand your partner’s spending habits, values and attitudes on money.
  • Have a joint financial plan, family budget and a monthly expense tracker
  • You can build trust by being open with your partner about your spending habits, financial goals and your experiences with money.
  • Make collective financial decisions from the beginning of the relationship to ensure that both partners have equal knowledge.
  • Have quarterly structured financial meetings to evaluate and plan.
  • Consider His, Hers and Ours financial plans

Financial fidelity is crucial in any partnership and secrets about money erode trust which binds intimate relationships. Let us now come closer home? How is your relationship with your partner as far as money matters are concerned? Do you openly discuss money issues with one another or do you find it difficult to be open about your income and expenditure? Do you make financial decisions together concerning small and big investments?
Your answers to these questions will help you evaluate your financial fidelity. If money is not a topic that you find easy to talk about openly, then you may need to consider how you can begin to engage. Open communication concerning financial commitments can help avert financial infidelity. It’s not uncommon today for one partner to commit themself financially without the knowledge or consent of the other. This leads to many a marriage break-up. Survivors limp along in an atmosphere of emotional and physical disconnection. Talk about money and avoid being a statistic. Get to know your partner.