I’ve seen a few situations where people try so hard to ‘make’ another like them by pretending to be what they are not or by trying to manipulate themselves to be what they think the other person likes.
When something feels forced or too much of a struggle it’s not meant to be and it’s not anyones fault and it does not mean THERE IS ANYTHING WRONG WITH ANY OF YOU.
A man or woman tries to pretend to be a certain way they think the object of their attention likes so as to be liked back. e.g. trying to be a gentleman, trying to be homely when you’re not, trying to be sweet, trying to hide your flaws, trying to be ‘nice’, trying to be ‘funny ‘, trying to act like you have alot of money to impress a woman, trying to change your looks, trying to look like you like what they like, trying to look intelligent or enlightened or whatever, etc. Key word here is TRYING to be what you’re not. Not to be confused with trying to be a better person for yourself.
When you TRY to be another person to win someone’s affections I think it’s the worst betrayal to yourself and the other person. pretence never lasts. Cracks will show eventually because we can’t hide who we are. And it’s a complete turn off.
JUST BE YOURSELF. Flaws, strengths, weaknesses, imperfections and all. Don’t hide. What I know for sure is there will ALWAYS be people who are attracted to the real you. Be your true self and just rest in that. Not everyone will find you attractive or desirable. Settle that in your heart. It doesn’t mean you’re not good enough. It’s just what it is. But some people will and those connections are the best. Trying too hard is never fun. Trying to make someone love you will never work. It’s not how it works. True connections are organic. There is no struggle or forcing or tension or feeling like you can’t be yourself.
When something feels forced or too much of a struggle it’s not meant to be and it’s not anyones fault and it does not mean THERE IS ANYTHING WRONG WITH ANY OF YOU. Never doubt yourself by asking “what did I do wrong that so and so doesn’t love me like I do them?” You did nothing. It just isn’t a match. That’s all. You can’t fit with everyone.
Be you and see how life just nicely wraps the right connections to you like water around an island. So organically, effortlessly, yet so naturally and so life giving .