Modern dating sucks. You’ve heard that before, right? It seems strange, since modern daters have more choice than any previous generation had. Being single in the digital age, we have options – lots of options. You might consider this to be a great thing, but there’s a pretty serious issue that comes with this: too many options.
When you always think someone better is right around the corner, you’re allowing yourself to get distracted from the amazing person right in front of you.
Your dates are always too distracted by other options to give you a real shot. And maybe you’re not going all-in, either, due to the delusion of choice.
Too much choice is ruining dating , and if you aren’t supposed to date ‘unavailable’ people that means you can’t date anyone who is chronically distracted by other options. Anyone who gets caught up in the illusion of ‘choice’ is not going to be relationship material.
What sometimes happens, is that no matter how much you like the person you’re dating, you’ll still chat with others and explore other options. When you always think someone better is right around the corner, you’re allowing yourself to get distracted from the amazing person right in front of you. It’s your call, but just know that your inability to focus on him or her could completely screw things up for you. If you can break this habit and try dating one person at a time, that’s you giving it a real shot.
The paradox of choice has the ability to cause you to hesitate instead of committing, because you’re reluctant to give up your other options. But what if these ‘better options’ are a mere illusion, and giving them up is the path to happiness and fulfillment?
The paradox of choice causes single men and women to feel lonely even while surrounded by options.
If you do decide that you want a meaningful relationship, you have to give up your other options, and it’s not as scary as you think to do so.
Instead of having high expectations, we should focus on the root of relationships: the feeling you get when you’re with someone special. Focus on how someone makes you feel, rather than focusing on whether or not they live up to your ‘expectations’